!MUST-READ! Books for Parents

The following “must-read” books are excellent tools to help us in our responsibilities as parents to bring up our children “in the fear and admonition of the Lord.” Be encouraged to read them as God’s means of help to you.

“1. Evangelizing Children”The relationship between discipline and evangelism is very close, for both are made necessary by the reality of sin. Every occasion for discipline is an opportunity to point our children to God as their Creator and to Christ as the only Redeemer. Every day provides us with many such opportunities.”p.129

4. Yet, there will be certain evidences of the saving work of Christ

1. Look for a spontaneous interest in the things of Christ. When children are found engaged in spiritual activities because they want to, and not merely because their parents say so, there is ground for real hope.
2. Look for expressions of simple love and devotion to the Savior.
3. Look for a willingness to be conformed to the Scriptura lexpectations of them as children. Christian children are not perfect anymore than Christian adults are perfect. But they will generally want to obey the Lord and their parents.” p.130

“I as a parent and teacher administer discipline only as an ambassador, as a representative of God. Thirdly, to bring up my children under God’s authority means that parental guidance and correction is intended to be a reflection of God’sdealings with His spiritual offspring. Not only should the child see theauthority of God behind the authority of the parent, but the child shouldalso see the manner and attitude of God reflected in the parent as headministers discipline and correction in His name. God’s goodness, God’sjustice, God’s mercy, God’s loving concern, and God’s care for His peopleshould all be identifiable in the parent’s approach to discipline. Ineffect, through administering biblical correction the parent is preaching asermon to his child.” p.60

Bruce A. Ray, “Withhold Not Correction”

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“Like Jesus, you must be realistic in your attitude toward your children.You must realize that your children have the potential for great wickedness(Pss. 51:5; 58:3). They are born sinners and must be regenerated by God’s Spirit and redeemed by God’s grace. Your children need God’s forgivenessfor their sins. They need His help to become truly worthwhile,God-honoring, olive-plant persons. Without Him, they cannot bear fruit for God (John 15:1-6). Let your thinking be gripped by the realization that each of your children are destined to live forever. Recall that he or she has the potential to do immense good–or evil. Understand that by God’s grace your child has great potential to become a thriving olive plantaccording to Psalm 128. pp. 41, 42.

Wayne A. Mack, “Your Family God’s Way”

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I. First, then, if you would train your children rightly, train them in theway they should go, and not in the way that they would.Remember children are born with a decided bias towards evil, and therefore if you let them choose for themselves, they are certain to choose wrong.
The mother cannot tell what her tender infant may grow up to be,-tall or short, weak or strong, wise or foolish he may be any of these things or not,-it is all uncertain. But one thing the mother can say with certainty:he will have a corrupt and sinful heart. It is natural to us to do wrong.”Foolishness,” says Solomon, “is bound in the heart of a child” (Prov. xxii.15). “A child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame” (Prov. xxix.15). Our hearts are like the earth on which we tread; let it alone, and itis sure to bear weeds.

If, then, you would deal wisely with your child, you must not leave him to the guidance of his own will. Think for him, judge for him, act for him,just as you would for one weak and blind; but for pity’s sake, give him notup to his own wayward tastes and inclinations. It must not be his likings and wishes that are consulted. He knows not yet what is good for his mindand soul, any more than what is good for his body. You do not let him decidewhat he shall eat, and what he shall drink, and how he shall be clothed. Be consistent, and deal with his mind in like manner. Train him in the way that is scriptural and right, and not in the way that he fancies. If you cannot make up your mind to this first principle of Christian training, it is useless for you to read any further. Self-will is almost thefirst thing that appears in a child’s mind; and it must be your first step to resist it.

IV. Train with this thought continually before your eyes-that the soul ofyour child is the first thing to be considered. Precious, no doubt, are these little ones in your eyes; but if you lovethem, think often of their souls. No interest should weigh with you so much as their eternal interests. No part of them should be so dear to you as that part which will never die. The world, with all its glory, shall pass away;the hills shall melt; the heavens shall be wrapped together as a scroll; the sun shall cease to shine. But the spirit which dwells in those little creatures, whom you love so well, shall outlive them all, and whether in happiness or misery (to speak as a man) will depend on you.

This is the thought that should be uppermost on your mind in all you do for your children. In every step you take about them, in every plan, and scheme, and arrangement that concerns them, do not leave out that mighty question,”How will this affect their souls?” Soul love is the soul of all love. To pet and pamper and indulge your child, as if this world was all he had to look to, and this life the only seasonfor happiness- to do this is not true love, but cruelty. It is treating him like some beast of the earth, which has but one world to look to, and nothing after death. It is hiding from him that grand truth, which he ought to be made to learn from his very infancy,.-that the chief end of his lifeis the salvation of his soul.

J.C. Ryle, “The Duties of Parents”

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Other Recommendations:

William & Colleen Dedrick, “The Little Book of Christian Character andManners”
Sinclair Ferguson, “The Big Book of Questions and Answers About Jesus”
Starr Meade, “Training Hearts, Teaching Minds Family
Devotions”Donald Van Dyken, “Rediscovering Catechism”

Soli Deo Gloria, joan [VA]
Owner-Moderator
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“Always add, always walk, always proceed; neither stand still, nor go back,nor deviate; he that standeth still proceedeth not; he goeth back thatcontinueth not; he deviateth that revolteth; he goeth better that creepethin his way than he that moveth out of his way.” _St. Augustine

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Stepping Heavenward….my summary…

Stepping Heavenward….my summary…1&2

Sisters, we have come at last to the summary for these first two chapters. This summary is long but chocked full of good food to chew on bothdoctrinally and practically. Thanks to our sisters who contributed so muchto this discussion and their good insight into questions raised so that wecan grow in our understanding of these matters. I have included shortquotes from those posts below which I believe speak very profoundly to eachof us and help us grow in our knowledge of Christ. So then, I will share afew additional closing summary points with you.

Our Katy is a sinner in need of the grace of Jesus Christ and a convertedheart. She is a professor, a young lady living in a Christian home underthe covenant umbrella of a believing parent/parents. Whether she wasbaptized as an infant or as a young person, she is identified with thecorporate church and thus is required as a professing Christian to adhere toGod’s Word in everything. We know that without true faith and a convertedheart, it is an impossible task for anyone to obey God’s Word without thepower of the indwelling Holy Spirit. If our Katy was not a true believer,then all that she does would be done in her own beggarly power and wouldonly lead to failure, as we see it has. One of the worst burdens we canplace upon our children, professing covenant children or not, is the awfulresponsibility of “acting and thinking biblically” when they are totally”depraved” in heart and mind and without Christ’s provisions in the gospel.They can obey, just as any unsaved person can obey, certain rules andregulations and adjust their behavior accordingly as best they can but thatwill only bring more judgment by Christ if true conversion does not occur.Thus, it is always incumbent upon godly parents to “bring their children upin the nurture and admonition of the Lord” in all of its applications ofjudgment and grace. As I stated in earlier posts and below, we do not knowKaty’s heart but we know “them by their fruits” and we see from this “fruitinspection” that Katy is in need of grace applied by Christ. One of themany blessings of being a covenant child (i.e., a child living in aChristian home under the hearing and preaching of the gospel, godlydiscipline and training in righteousness leading them to Christ under thepromises and hope of the gospel) is that we have opportunity daily to knowChrist and all of the blessings of the covenant to God’s people because Godhas so placed us sovereignty for His purposes where we are. There are noguarantees because we are born or brought up in a Christian home, Reformed(covenantal) or otherwise that we or our children will be saved. There isone salvation plan of God and two categories of people, the “elect”(thesaved) and the non-elect (the unsaved). It is folly to believe that becauseour children are raised in a Christian or covenantal home, are baptizedeither as an infant or child, that this guarantees anything to them.Baptism is a “sign” only that they have corporately identified with God’speople. Neither water baptism nor man’s own works of lawkeeping will savethem, only Christ alone (Solus Christus). Christ, by His providentialwork and ordination of them (election) before the foundation of the world,before they could do either good or evil, is the only guarantee of theirsalvation. Thus, the responsibility for us as Christian parents is to bringthe gospel to our children every day and in every way by praying, byeducation, by loving leadership, by confession and forgiveness, by love anddiscipline and by our submission to God’s providence and plan in theirlives. Salvation is all of mercy and grace and we beseech Christ for ourchildren and family (just as Mother did for Katy) and trust in His sovereignand merciful will for their lives. Knowing these things should make us”wise” and help us use good biblical discernment as we live before Him inthankfulness for the mercy He has already shown us in Christ and for theprivilege of serving Him in our families.

Thus said, I will share several paragraphs on these subjects from someexcellent sources as well as share recommendations for several excellentbooks on these subjects in an additional post following.* As soldiers ofJesus Christ living in a sinful world with sinners, including our ownchildren and families, and our daily need for correction and grace in ourown lives, we need all the help we can get from the many counselors (theHoly Spirit, the Bible, godly authors, teachers, counselors - “in themultitude of counselors there is safety”) and practical helps from oneanother so that all we do is done to the glory of God and the good of ourown souls and our families. Be encouraged as we continue in our studies to”think and act biblically” rightly dividing the word of truth and makebiblical application of godly principles to your own life as you continue inyour responsibilities as wives and mothers.
* See next post.
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Soli Deo Gloria, joan [VA]

Owner-Moderator
ReformedWomen
CoffeeTeaAndWe
The JoyPals Network
http://www.joypals.com
http://reformedwomen.blogspot.com/
“Always add, always walk, always proceed; neither stand still, nor go back,nor deviate; he that standeth still proceedeth not; he goeth back thatcontinueth not; he deviateth that revolteth; he goeth better that creepethin his way than he that moveth out of his way.” _St. Augustine

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The JoyPals Network
ReformedWomen.com
All rights reserved.

Howdy Friends…ClassyChristmas stuff and better late than never as they say…

Wonder where I have been? Creating the new websites, Christmas stationery and wallpaper for the websites and of course, the new “Stepping Heavenward” study (which is great by the way) and of course, all of my other responsibilities which has given me little time for this kind of fun (which I do like very much and long to be here writing my fingers off…). I hope you will stop over at the site and enjoy some of the lovely Christmas goodies, especially the music, speaking of which, I am also working on the ClassyPraise (JoyPals Praise) music sites so maybe, just maybe, I will have them up and running by the 3rd week in December.

Here’s the link…. http://www.joypals.com/classystationery (btw…I am the “Classy” in the “Classy” and that just doesn’t only describe me but is also my Dad’s nic for me! — what else do you call a blond-blue-eyed Shirley Temple anyway???

Enjoy!