Biblical role for women….

[The following text excerpt is taken from my response to a question asked in our RW group regarding women's role in the home/society, and by request I have posted it here for the benefit of our non-RW sisters.]

Caveat: This is in no way inclusive/exclusive of all I can and would say (as you well know of me) and I would love to write a book-length post on this but God has my time so scheduled with so many things I will just be contented to send these few thoughts you way hoping they will add and encourage the discussion and your thinking on them.

The Ideal: It is and will always be the biblical role for woman to be helpmeets (homemakers, keepers of the home). This is God’s ordained and biblical design for women. This is the ideal for which we press forward to obtain; the ideal to which we train our daughters; the ideal for which we teach in Titus 2 and Proverbs 31 ministry. It is our God-ordained role to be wives and mothers first, foremost, and above all other things. Our foundation is Christ, our Bridegroom, and the marriage, husband and wife relationship, in the roles God has ordained, is a picture of Christ and His Church. The wife being submissive to her “own husband” just as the church is subject to Christ. This is the ideal. This is God’s choice and design. [Gen 2:24 "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."]

This ideal will never be perfect in this life because sin entered in and women since the Garden of Eden have sought to change God’s perfect design and because of the sin of man, woman, the church, its leaders, society and everything else, we have a corrupted ideal and one of our own choosing. Because of sin, the ideal is not always met nor do the individual circumstances of each man, woman or family allow for it. In a world of sin, death, separation, divorce, disability, childlessness, our own pride, greed, self-gratification and everything else delivered upon man/woman, we may reach for that goal but often it cannot be met nor do we strive for it. Our own personal relationship with Christ, whether our spouse or parents are Christians with a Christian world and life view will effect how that ideal is met or is shattered by sin. So then, it is complicated by these things and thus sound biblical theology, prayer, mercy and patience must be exercised as we press forward in our understanding.

Again, the ideal is God’s design. As we have studied so many times here at RW, this is the goal as biblical Christ-centered women we press forward in and this is why we exist here at RW and the reasons for the importance of Titus 2 ministry as commanded by Scripture in Titus 2 so that we can equip women to be “thinking and acting” biblical Christian women. We should love to do it because it is God’s perfect design and in our love of our “sister” brethren, we want this ideal for them. [Titus 2:3-5 "That aged women likewise be reverent in demeanor, not slanderers nor enslaved to much wine, teachers of that which is good; that they may train the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sober-minded, chaste, workers at home, kind, being in subjection to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." 1Ti 5:14 "I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully."]

Working Inside and Outside the Home: Women are “workers at home” as we all know. We work tirelessly day and night, many long hours, ministering to our husband and children. We likewise minister (work) in many ways for our extended families, friends and church. We are always “abounding” in the things of God in ministry one to another. It IS work to cook, sew, clean, prepare, educate, keep the home and it is not to be considered “non-work” or work that has no value. It is the most important work done in the history of mankind on part of women because it enables us to show the world God’s perfect design for the home and family. It enables us to raise our children in the fear and admonition of the Lord to the glory of God for His purposes. It allows us to set their feet upon a good path and to produce in them a love for God, His design, His Word. It allows us to truly love our husbands by making a sanctuary (crazy as it can be at times) for them to come home to after a day working and living in a world filled with the evil devices of the wicked and sinful men. It should be the goal and prayer for every Christian woman to be these “workers” at home.

Additional Work: Women may also be gifted with special gifts that enable them to participate in and help in the family income. Many Christian women have gardening, flower, sewing, farming and many other “homemaking” ministries that enable them to also sell their products in the marketplace to help in the family income. Some women are able to childcare other children and thus have the blessing of the added income and at the same time minister to that child from a Christian perspective and training. Women who have been educated/trained in nursing, music, accounting, education, etc. can use those gifts and skills in rearing their own children and many times have a home based business that ministers both to those inside the church body and outside. (This is especially true for those that are trained and educated prior to marriage and why it is important for young women who are college-bound to be trained in areas that can be used for the blessing of the family and church.) There is, as well, women who God has raised up particularly to minister to women in spiritual and counseling matters and thus those gifts are likewise used in the home as well as to women in the body of Christ both in the church and outside.

Working Outside of the Home: This is a huge area and each circumstance and appropriate application must be made for each woman facing this issue. The Bible does not forbid women from working outside the home. The Bible deals with God’s ideal and the issues of the heart regarding it. There are times and circumstances wherein women must work outside the home. This is especially so in the case of single, divorced or widowed women. It is important that these women are able to care for themselves, trusting Christ to provide them with both the means and opportunities to do so. Many times women are put into the position to help in the income of the family not because of their own personal goals for self-fulfillment but because of necessity due to accident, death or other circumstances. Sometimes women will work in order for husbands to attend seminary and when there are no small children this can work well for their future ministry. Others will work different shifts so that children can be cared for by one of the parents. Other cases will be where the spouse is unsaved and “commands” that the wife work in order to contribute to the income or because he will not work. Then, of course, there is the sin of the heart in women wherein they want to have their “own” design and plan rather than God’s to the detriment of everyone, especially their husband and children. Thus, each individual woman considering work outside of the home must do so carefully and biblically. The husband is called at the “head” of the family and thus he is by biblical definition the head of the home and the one who is required by mandate to care for the family by working in the fields, gifts God has given him so that they are without want and that the church is blessed.

Faulty Thinking: A note here about the church responsibility to care for the “widows” etc. It is not the church’s responsibility to take care of someone financially when they are able to work and care for themselves. It is the family’s responsibility to care for its own elderly but if no family, the church can help provide. The younger women are to “work” and be submissive to that work that God provides. Many churches, especially sound doctrinal churches are not in a financial position to take care of women and children that have been abandoned by spouse or family. Most biblical churches are barely making ends meet to keep their doors open. Thus, the younger women should work in a position that will enable them provide for themselves in a field that will be good and God glorifying and in which they can minister to others. Think biblically and rightly. How many of you can afford to help in the support of a woman with 3 or 4 children on a yearly basis? If it requires $40,000 a year to support this family excluding medical care, etc., in a church with 100 adult members, can you afford it in addition to your tithes and offerings? What if you have several young women and single parent families and widows? Can you afford in your budget to add to your tithes and offerings and diaconal giving the large sums that would be required? I think not — so it is that most of God’s children are “just making it” from day to day financially and thus if we eat and live, we all must work where God has provided so that the church (body of Christ) is not burdened.

The main purpose of the church is to preach and teach the true gospel of Jesus Christ and that, unfortunately today, is where the church has left off to take care of so many diaconal and other “projects” that the Word of God and thus the children of God are left wanting (starving for the Bread of Life) in order for them to take care of those “social” issues in the world that God has provided for in other ways. [This does not mean we do not contribute, help the poor and suffering, etc. in material and physical ways but it is not the main focus, purpose or church responsibility to the detriment of the Word of God.]

So then, remember that we are to be faithful in whatever place God has for us. We are to be biblical and as much as lies within us as sinners living in sinful world, and being always so until Glory, we are not to be people seeking something to add to the blessedness of Christ and His gifts, but to be prayerful, loving, considerate, patient and longsuffering with those who differ from us knowing that it is Christ in His providence who makes us to differ in circumstances and places. But, we are to in faithfulness lead those who God has under our care and places in our way, to the “ideal” of God’s plan and design for us as women. Why would we want anything else when He has provided the best? We have it all in Him in His perfect picture and design.